


More Like Guidelines

by jessalae



Category: Pitch Perfect (2012)
Genre: Character Study, Collection: Purimgifts Day 2, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-22
Updated: 2013-02-22
Packaged: 2017-12-03 05:25:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/694638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jessalae/pseuds/jessalae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everybody's got a different rule Stacie's supposed to follow.</p>
            </blockquote>





	More Like Guidelines

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fetchmeagiraffe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fetchmeagiraffe/gifts).



1\. "Condoms, condoms, condoms," Stacie's older sister says on move-in day, handing her a three-pack of Trojans. "I don't care how cute he is or if he says he's a virgin, there's never a good excuse to not use one."

Stacie stops herself from rolling her eyes -- barely -- and accepts the condoms. "Okay, sis," she says. Like she doesn't know all that already. Still, it's a sweet gesture, and Jenni hasn't been around much the past few years. She has no way of knowing what her sweet baby sister has been up to. Stacie just thanks her, and adds the condoms to the 32-pack already under her bed.

 

2\. "No floorcest," Stacie's RA says, the second day of freshman orientation. They're supposed to be having some kind of underage drinking prevention seminar, but the RA scrapped that plan half an hour ago. Instead, she's been telling them everything she's learned in her three previous years here, the stuff they don't put on the admissions brochures. "It never ends well. One, it's completely awkward when you break up and have to walk by your ex's room every time you go to the bathroom; two, the walls in this building are hella thin. If they stop dating you and start banging your neighbor, you're going to hear all of it."

Stacie's neighbor shoots Stacie a vicious glare. Stacie inspects her cuticles and says nothing. Half the water polo team lives on their floor; the 'no floorcest' rule just isn't going to work out.

 

3\. "Avoid the walk of shame at all costs," Stacie's BFF from high school says over Skype. "My roommate did it last weekend, and she said it was awful. The guy's parents were coming to visit, so he made her leave at like six in the morning. She didn't even have time to find her bra before he kicked her out."

"Man, that sucks," Stacie says. "Was it a cute bra?"

"Super cute," her BFF says, nodding sadly. "I was totally going to borrow it sometime."

Stacie has every intention of following her advice -- but the upperclassman dorms are _so_ much nicer, seriously. She's not going to bring a senior back to her crappy little single. So the next Saturday morning finds her walking across the main quad, trying to move quickly so her heels can't sink into the grass -- and honestly, it isn't so bad. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping in the trees, she's not nearly as hung over as she thought she would be. Life seems pretty sweet.

As she passes one of the frat houses, some asshole catcalls her out of a second-story window. Stacie turns around calmly and gives him a Look, and right at that moment his hand slips on the windowsill and he lurches forward and ends up hanging halfway out the window. His buddies struggle to pull him back inside, swearing loudly; his trucker hat slips off his head and flutters down into the party-cup-studded bushes; and Stacie turns and struts her way back to her dorm, breathing in the crisp fall air.

 

4\. "Ms. Conrad, for the fourth time, students aren't allowed up here," the head custodian says. "If I find you here again, I'll have to tell security."

"Oh, come _on_ , Marcus," Stacie says. "You've been here forever. You must know it's a Barden tradition to sneak into the bell tower and ring the bell when you hook up with someone on campus."

"It's a Barden tradition to ring the bell the _first_ time you ever get with someone on campus," Marcus says, raising his salt-and-pepper eyebrows. "I let it slide for that, but you only get to do it once. We can't have students up in the tower every night."

"Oh," Stacie says. "I think I missed that part of the rule."

"Well, now you know," Marcus says, gesturing towards the door with his key ring. "Don't let me catch you again."

 

5\. "So _I_ heard your Dear Leader made you girls all swear an oath not to sleep with any of us," the Treblemakers' baritone says, letting Stacie push his maroon hoodie off his shoulders and start in on his t-shirt. "That true?"

"What?" Stacie asks. His abs are distracting, okay? "Oh, yeah, kind of. Whatever. I'm a big girl, I can make my own decisions. Aubrey's not the boss of me."

The guy laughs and kisses Stacie's neck, starting to unzip her dress. "That is unreal," he says. "Like she's really got anything to worry about."

Stacie pauses in her quest to undo the guy's belt. "Sorry, what?"

The guy kisses her neck again. "No self-respecting Treble is going to try and sleep with Aubrey Posen. Or half the other girls, for that matter." He tugs on her earlobe with his teeth. "But you... you don't seem like a heinous bitch at all."

Stacie rolls off the bed and marches over to the door, flinging it open. "Out," she says. "Now."

The guy looks indignant. "All I meant was you're the hottest one on the Bellas."

"Do you also think I'm the dumbest one?" Stacy asks. "Get your rude ass out. Don't come back."

"Whatever." The guy saunters towards the door, picking up his clothes along the way. Stacie slams the door behind him, then pulls out her cell phone and mass-texts the freshman Bellas.

 _Our stupid oath = not so stupid after all,_ she says. _I need a party. Who's got booze?_

She has five different responses before she's even finished zipping up her dress.

[ ](http://s28.beta.photobucket.com/user/jessalae/media/purimgifts%20graphics/remix365_anon_zps18a6fa7c.png.html)

**Author's Note:**

> Graphic: remix of [A Softer World](http://www.asofterworld.com) [#365](http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=365).


End file.
